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On January 23, 2013, Custom travel jewelry Boudreau was house from work nursing a nasty again when two men knocked on her door. They advised her they had been Canadian intelligence agents. Damian was not in Egypt. He had traveled to Syria along with his roommates and joined the local department of al-Qaeda, Jabhat al-Nusra. After the agents left, Boudreau says, I was bodily sick." Within the days and weeks afterwards, the only thing she could suppose to do was to scrounge round jihadist web sites, searching for her son. How sick and twisted is that?" she says.

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This was the one time I saw the weight of these moms' grief carry, when they were with other moms like them. It is one of the few instances they really feel, Ben Ali advised me, that you are not a nasty mother." Most of the time, they are beset by misunderstanding and judgment. Torill told me that she went to see a psychologist, and he advised her to cope with her grief by writing to Thom Alexander and telling him to eat shit." He mentioned that everybody who joins ISIS deserves a bullet in the head," Torill says. Friends flip away, and many of the women find that their husbands or partners can't relate to their need to speak about their children constantly. Boudreau's companion, as an example, cannot understand why, a 12 months and a half after Damian's dying, she is still fixated on it.